In fiction writing, the choice between passive and active voice influences the readability, pacing, and emotional impact of your story. Understanding how to wield both effectively can aid you in creating vivid and engaging prose, so let's break down what the differences between the two forms are and how you can make best use of them.
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Active Voice
Active voice is a straightforward structure where the subject performs the action, creating clear and dynamic sentences.
Example: The hero saves the village.
The hero is the subject, performing the action saves, for the village, which is the action's target. The emphasis is on the subject and action - hero saves.
Benefits of active voice in fiction include:
Clarity: The subject and action are immediately clear.
Pacing: It often results in tighter, faster-moving prose.
Engagement: Direct sentences draw readers into the scene with their immediacy.
Passive Voice
In passive voice, the action's target receives the action. It often involves a form of “to be” and a past participle of the action.
Example: The village was saved by the hero.
In this structure, the village is the target, receiving the action of being saved - was is the form of "to be", and saved is the past participle.
Though passive voice is sometimes criticized for being weak or indirect, it absolutely has its place in fiction, according to the effect you want to create. For instance:
Subtlety: Useful for emphasizing the action and action's target rather than the doer of the action; or where the doer isn't known, such as My car was broken into last night.
Tone shifts: The lack of directness can create a sense of mystery, distance, or objectivity; or even help to shift emphasis away from information that may gain significance later in the narrative.
Character voice: Suits characters who might avoid taking responsibility, facing matters directly, or prefer ambiguity. The house was burned to the ground. Gone. There was nothing more to say about it.
When to use each voice:
Active Voice: Ideal for action scenes, straightforward descriptions, and moments when the subject’s role is essential to the scene.
Passive Voice: Effective for highlighting the result of an action or when the performer of the action is unknown or irrelevant. It’s also useful in scenes requiring a sense of detachment or formality.
Action scene (Active): The detective pursued the thief through the winding alleys.
The emphasis is on the subject, the detective, and his action of pursuing the thief through the winding alleys. Direct, swift, and to-the-point, as the action itself is.
Mysterious revelation (Passive): The letter was discovered in the drawer, its edges worn with age.
We do not know who discovered the letter - the emphasis instead is on the action and action's target, shifting our attention to the letter discovered in the drawer.
Practical tips:
Read aloud: Hearing sentences helps identify when passive voice blurs meaning, shifts emphasis, or minimizes impact.
Balance: Use active voice for energy, and passive voice sparingly for effect.
Revise intentionally: Ensure passive constructions are a choice, rather than a habit.
Further examples for comparison:
Active: The builder gave me the quote.
Passive: I was given the quote by the builder.
Active: Someone built the house one hundred years ago.
Passive: The house was built one hundred years ago.
Active: I will serve dinner at eight.
Passive: Dinner will be served at eight.
Active: He played the guitar beautifully.
Passive: The guitar was played beautifully by him.
Finally...
Understanding active and passive voice allows you greater flexibility to shape narrative tone, highlight pivotal moments in your stories, and maintain reader engagement. Neither usage is incorrect, so don't fret excessively over it or let grammar worries deter you from writing your story. Often these things are instinctive, and as a writer you will know when your sentences feel flat or ineffective - for which changing from passive to active voice or vice versa could be the solution - and when it hits the mark perfectly.
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Tina Williams of Fiction Yogi is a copyeditor and proofreader who works with writers at all stages, giving them the tools to improve their manuscript and level up their writing so they can meet their publishing goals.
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